SNL Weekend Update Roasts Trump’s Ballroom, Noem’s Divorce, and Hegseth’s Military Rules

Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update segment delivered a hilarious takedown of recent political news. Co-anchor Michael Che kicked things off by mocking President Trump’s controversial White House ballroom project, which is being built over a bunker. Using a childish voice, Che listed absurd features like armed drones, a moat, and a water slide, painting it as a over-the-top fortress. The show then turned to former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem’s divorce from her husband of over 30 years, Bryon Noem. Che joked about the mystery behind their split, referencing Bryon’s known crossdressing habit with a punchline that left the audience laughing. Colin Jost chimed in with a sharp remark, saying Noem is always happy to ‘separate another family,’ tying it to her immigration policies. The segment also took aim at Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s recent speech outlining his ideal military, which excluded various groups. Jost mocked the list of ‘no fatties, no trannies, no beardos,’ humorously suggesting it bans the entire career of comedian Mike Myers. Finally, the anchors roasted Texas Senate candidate Ken Paxton after a report revealed he took over 275 out-of-state trips while in office, with Che quipping, ‘That’s a lot of abortions,’ in a darkly funny reference to his controversies.

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